It is easy for me to get discouraged when I feel like I am so far from reaching my goals. For example, I am not sure when I will finish my Master's degree, but it may be another two years. Sometimes I get discouraged that it will take so long, especially when I feel that it will be impossible to complete the course load and actually pass the Comp Exams. I also get discouraged when I feel like my struggle with food will never be gone. Even though the past few weeks have been really good and I have not binged, I know it will take many months, even years, of abstinence before I truly experience victory and freedom from this struggle. Knowing it will take that long discourages me and even makes me want to give in to my cravings because Satan tries to make me believe that I will never be free from this struggle. But I can be victorious even when the distance between my present reality and my desired goal seems so far apart. By setting mini-goals and achieving them, I can have moments of victory each day. Each day I abstain from bingeing is a day of victory. Each time I resist the temptation to eat more than I should is a moment of victory. Each time I turn to God rather than food is a time of victory.
"We will always be the most victorious when we are in the center of God's will. When we are in God's will, we are able to see our trials from God's perspective -- through the lens of HIs grace and truth" (Terkeurst, 2011).
So what is God's will? 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks...for this is God's will. To be in the center of God's will means I am to be joyful, prayerful, and thankful in all circumstances. These are all things I need to work on. This semester, I have allowed stress and discouragement to rob me of my joy. "Joy is a choice we make, not a feeling we hope to get from our circumstances" (Terkeurst, 2011). I can make the choice to be joyful in any circumstance because my joy is found in Christ and His salvation. Even through difficult times, I need to make the choice to be joyful. Being more prayerful is one thing I am working on. Prayer is so important, especially to defeat my battle with food. Not only do I need to set aside time to pray, I need to pray throughout the day and anytime I am faced with a choice and especially when I face temptation. I also need to remember to be thankful. Even in hard times, there are always things to be thankful for, and I need to choose to focus on those things rather than the circumstances in my life.
Be joyful, prayerful, and thankful. This is God's will. And when I am in God's will, I can experience victory, one small step at a time.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Friday, April 13, 2012
Worship
"What we fix our attention, heart, and mind on is what we'll worship. What we worship becomes magnified. And what is magnified will consume us and perpetuate more and more worship" (Terkeurst, 2011).
I'm going to be honest. I struggle with keeping my heart and mind fixed on God throughout the day. I do my bible study in the morning, and so it is easy for me to focus on God early in the day; but as the day goes on and I am focused on all I have to do, my focus shifts from God and I focus my attention on other things, forgetting to acknowledge Him and walk with Him. Food has become something in my life that I focus way too much on. It has become an idol in my life: I have craved food more than I have craved God; I have turned to food for comfort instead of turning to God; I have sought satisfaction in food rather than seeking satisfaction from the only One who can truly satisfy. And each time I place food above God, it demands more worship.
I have intentions to worship God and to fix my heart and mind on Him, many times those intentions do not result in action. God is concerned with my heart and what my intentions are, but He desires obedience more than a thousand good intentions. One way I can worship God each day is by giving my body to God as a living and holy sacrifice (Romans 12:1). Each day I must surrender myself to God and put aside my selfish ambitions and follow Him (Matthew 16:24-25). This is not something I should just intend to do; it is something I must put into action every day.
I'm going to be honest. I struggle with keeping my heart and mind fixed on God throughout the day. I do my bible study in the morning, and so it is easy for me to focus on God early in the day; but as the day goes on and I am focused on all I have to do, my focus shifts from God and I focus my attention on other things, forgetting to acknowledge Him and walk with Him. Food has become something in my life that I focus way too much on. It has become an idol in my life: I have craved food more than I have craved God; I have turned to food for comfort instead of turning to God; I have sought satisfaction in food rather than seeking satisfaction from the only One who can truly satisfy. And each time I place food above God, it demands more worship.
I have intentions to worship God and to fix my heart and mind on Him, many times those intentions do not result in action. God is concerned with my heart and what my intentions are, but He desires obedience more than a thousand good intentions. One way I can worship God each day is by giving my body to God as a living and holy sacrifice (Romans 12:1). Each day I must surrender myself to God and put aside my selfish ambitions and follow Him (Matthew 16:24-25). This is not something I should just intend to do; it is something I must put into action every day.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
My Identity in Christ
Daily, hourly, and moment by moment, I must stand in the reality of my God-given identity (Terkeurst, 2011).
While I know in my head that God's love for me and His approval of me is not based on what I do or do not do, many times it is difficult for my heart to grasp the truth. There are so many times that I believe the lie that I have to perform for God's approval, and so I do or do not do things in order to be loved rather than doing things because I am loved. This performance mentality relates to my food struggles as well. Whenever I eat healthy and exercise self-control, I feel like a "good Christian," but when I lose self-control and binge, I feel like a "bad Christian."
After Jesus was baptized, God said, "This is my Son, in whom I love; with him I am well pleased" (Matthew 3:17). When God said this, Jesus had not yet begun His ministry. He had not led the disciples, performed miracles, or died on the cross. God affirmed Jesus' identity before Jesus began His public ministry.
When I became a Christian, I was given a new identity: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come" (2 Corinthians 5:17). This new identity is not based on who I am or what I have done; it is dependent on who Christ is and what He has already done through His death on the cross. So often, I forget that my worth and significane are found in Christ alone and I try to fill my life with activities to prove my worth and significance in oder to earn love and approval from other people as well as from God. I am God's daughter, whom He loves; with me He is well pleased. He loves me and is pleased with me because of who I am in Christ, not because of what I do.
After God affirmed Jesus' identity, Jesus was tempted in the desert, and one of those temptations was with food. Because Jesus was filled with God's truth and knew His identity, He did resisted temptation. When I rest assured in my identity and worth in Christ and when I fill myself with Him, I do not need to crave the acceptance and approval of others and I do not need to fill myself with physical pleasure (such as food). Because in God I am loved, accepted, and whole. God loves me and is well-pleased with me no matter what I do, and this truth should be the motivation for all that I do: to live for Him because I am loved rather than to earn His love.
While I know in my head that God's love for me and His approval of me is not based on what I do or do not do, many times it is difficult for my heart to grasp the truth. There are so many times that I believe the lie that I have to perform for God's approval, and so I do or do not do things in order to be loved rather than doing things because I am loved. This performance mentality relates to my food struggles as well. Whenever I eat healthy and exercise self-control, I feel like a "good Christian," but when I lose self-control and binge, I feel like a "bad Christian."
After Jesus was baptized, God said, "This is my Son, in whom I love; with him I am well pleased" (Matthew 3:17). When God said this, Jesus had not yet begun His ministry. He had not led the disciples, performed miracles, or died on the cross. God affirmed Jesus' identity before Jesus began His public ministry.
When I became a Christian, I was given a new identity: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come" (2 Corinthians 5:17). This new identity is not based on who I am or what I have done; it is dependent on who Christ is and what He has already done through His death on the cross. So often, I forget that my worth and significane are found in Christ alone and I try to fill my life with activities to prove my worth and significance in oder to earn love and approval from other people as well as from God. I am God's daughter, whom He loves; with me He is well pleased. He loves me and is pleased with me because of who I am in Christ, not because of what I do.
After God affirmed Jesus' identity, Jesus was tempted in the desert, and one of those temptations was with food. Because Jesus was filled with God's truth and knew His identity, He did resisted temptation. When I rest assured in my identity and worth in Christ and when I fill myself with Him, I do not need to crave the acceptance and approval of others and I do not need to fill myself with physical pleasure (such as food). Because in God I am loved, accepted, and whole. God loves me and is well-pleased with me no matter what I do, and this truth should be the motivation for all that I do: to live for Him because I am loved rather than to earn His love.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Not Just a Physical Struggle
Ever since I started struggling with food, it has been interesting to me that something physical (food) can have such ramifications on my spiritual life. Binge-eating hurts my physical body, but this struggle also wages war against my soul. Satan tries to convince me that I will never be free from this battle and that victory is not possible. He uses my physical struggle with food as a lure to draw me away from God, and he has been successful many times.
In Psalm 23, we see all the things God does for His children:
My physical struggle with food allows me to see the spiritual state of my heart. I must do more than recognize this truth; I must do something about it. Each day I must surrender this struggle to God and trust Him to give me the strength I need to resist temptation. Each day I must choose to turn to Him for comfort and satisfaction rather than to food. Each day I must counter lies with His truth. Each day I must choose to be ruled by Him, not food. Each day I must abstain from my sinful desires, which wage war against my soul (1 Peter 2:11)
In Psalm 23, we see all the things God does for His children:
- He leads me
- He restores me
- He guides me
- He is with me
- He comforts me
- He fills me
- He satisfies me
My physical struggle with food allows me to see the spiritual state of my heart. I must do more than recognize this truth; I must do something about it. Each day I must surrender this struggle to God and trust Him to give me the strength I need to resist temptation. Each day I must choose to turn to Him for comfort and satisfaction rather than to food. Each day I must counter lies with His truth. Each day I must choose to be ruled by Him, not food. Each day I must abstain from my sinful desires, which wage war against my soul (1 Peter 2:11)
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